She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
