Christians are straight up FREAKS
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
