Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
