you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
