just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
