she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
