idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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