that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Say something about gay babies.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
