I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Holy shit dude........stairs
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
