very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
