Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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