Heybabeimwearingurpanties
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
