"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Holy shit dude........stairs
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
