I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
