I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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