we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
