Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
