Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I wish life had little blips of pornography
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
