she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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