I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
