We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
