Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
