Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
