when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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