I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i came on her dog
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
