Jerry, you need to find god
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
