Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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