i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
