I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
