so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
