I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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