Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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