i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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