when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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