just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
