I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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