He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
