Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm like, not good at living.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize