remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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