i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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