It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
