I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That's how pantless uber rides happen
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
