Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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