community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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