And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
