wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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