I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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