just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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