Banned from zoo.
Again?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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