I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I deserve this hangover.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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