I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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