If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
