So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
