Grow some girl-balls and come out already
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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