OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize