watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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