This girl is more easily done than said...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
