He kissed a someone with a penis
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
sex in a hospital.. check
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
