Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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