four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
