I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
