I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize