Do you still have your period?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
