Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You're completely useless in the revolution.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
