I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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