i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
