i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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