so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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