you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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