Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
