that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
